2004-09-14

I refuse to quit

See, the difference between "now" and "then" aren't the events mentioned at the end of my last post. This may be a life-long battle for me.

The difference is hope.

It may never go away. I might always have to fight, to cajole, to convince. I might have a monster living under my bed for the rest of my life.

But I am never, never giving up. I never want to go back to what it was. That is the most imporant thing in my life right now. I may be without friend, or family, but I have myself, and God is always near.

I might never be able to convince myself that an uplaned little bag of cookies won't magically make me gain 80 lbs. But I don't want to go back to living in the dark. Never. I think I'd die first.

suzza at 2:54 p.m.

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