2005-10-01
My mother likes women..
(Taking a “break” from huge packing job”).
So here is the plan: Move most of stuff today. Get Vietnamese food, go to jysk, then sleep in almost-empty room. I’m gonna do the last bit of moving on Sunday, including vaccuming etc, then come back on Monday to hand in my keys.
I’m more than a little glad that I’m moving but I’m beginning to wonder what my excuse for being miserable will be after I leave.
I hung out with S. and some random dorm people last night. We went and saw a spanish movie at the University “My mother likes women”. It was good but SO awkward being like the only straight people there. And we don’t exactly blend in. Best. Line. Ever. D. Goes up to the obviously gay concession host, and when asked what she wants, says “Reeses Penis..”. Giggle. I need to grow up, but it was pretty funny.
I had 2.5 drinks and I was almost gone. I called some people I probably shouldn’t have; drinking tends to bring out whatever I’ve hidden under my skin for the past few weeks. Thus I ended up laying in bed wishing for the world to explode into a million pieces. It didn’t. It just got fuzzy and I spent quite a bit of time out of my body. It’s funny. It’s getting harder and harder for me to do that, but I still “leave” when I’m scared or when people are angry with me. When I’ve been drinking, though, it’s the worst, or the best, depending on the point of view. It’s a normal skill not to have but I’m not sure how I’ll keep myself safe. At least I’ve stopped dissociating in my exams... but that might be for lack of caring!
I think if I’m going to drink again, I need to make sure I consume something like water during the day.
My scarf is progressing freakishly well– three hours in history 200 will do that.
suzza at 9:41 a.m.