2006-02-21
what is fluff and what is very real
The littlest things make me so happy. I’ve never, ever felt like this. I know that so much is undecided about this… situation… but… I take what I can get. All the small, lovely little moments, and I carry them around. All these silly little things that probably don’t mean anything to anyone but me. Maybe it’s a completely false reality. Maybe I’m constructing things that aren’t there.
But I don’t think so. I don’t think so. And I feel safe, even if I know that today, tomorrow, or next week might be the end of it. I know that at the end, I’ll come out of this better than I went in. And this is the most logical thing, in the whole entire world, too. I was SURE this was never going to happen to me. Even though I want some less than pure things sometimes, this feels like the most innocent, good, altruistic thing that has occurred thus far in my life. Or is slowly occurring in my life. Bit by bit, it’s coming together in a flurry
(/most insubstantial entry ever).
In other news, I am slowly drowning under a pile of essays, article reviews, and mid-terms. It was inevitable, but I had somehow imagined I could pull myself out of the pit of murky hell and deal with all the insane issues (I am dealing with SO many things right now, people keep coming to me, and it’s just… I don’t stop!) and suddenly catch up on my essays/novels/work. Ha. It’s not drastic, but it soon will be very busy.
suzza at 2:41 p.m.