2006-08-05
In sum..
So here I am at home.
My town is changing so much. Maybe I just used to be little, but it used to actually be a destination. Now (especially with the overpasses being added, and houses being built further and further into the bush), it seems more and more just a place to drive through. It's full of people that are impatient to be somewhere else. It is crowded, busy, and, above all, hot.
I love the north. I'm not in love with the cost of food or some of the isolation, but I feel as though I’m suffocating here. It's too hot. There are too many people. There are too many stores -- how many beds/dishes/shoes do you need? After 35 hours of no sleep, filthy dirty, driving back from the Richmond airport, I remember spending five minutes staring at a pre-made feather quilt shop. Even after three months it blew me away that there are whole stores devoted to singular objects. That someone would wake up and decide "Today, I am going to the Quilt store.." . Or the spoon store. Or the Fancy Christian store where I can buy the t-shirts/bracelets, etc.
Things I loved: I loved how there was always somewhere to go outside and no one would look at you. I loved being somewhere where no one knew me. I loved being grown up. Independent. I loved the smell of the air. I loved the freedom of just randomly playing or partying around a fire, or jumping into a lake on my lunch-hour, or playing with a canoe, or getting into a car and driving for hours and maybe seeing three or four cars. I loved some of the raw spirituality expressed in the community. I loved running along the bumping land. I loved feeling like something was always behind me. I loved how everywhere I went was new. I loved how all the guys flirted with me. I loved spending time with two of my best friends.
Things I didn't like about my trip so much: I hated the price of food, and the crumminess of fruit. I slacked in my diet this summer, and despite exercise, my body shows it. I hated being responsible to people again. I hated short well-fed showers. I wasn't in love with the church, completely, I think they alienated a lot of the community-- a community that needs help. It needs a LOT of love, and prayer. I hated working in a liquor store in a town that has such alcohol abuse issues. I hated how short-staffed work got. I DESPISED how they abused my reliability at work. It was also hard seeing some wonderful little kids - younger than my little sister - fall into drinking and smoking, because of lack of anything else to do. Thinking they were all grown up - hah. I hated how a lot of people were continuously high, see reason given in last sentence. I didn’t like that I drank so much. I was very spiritual this summer, but had some scary gaps. I didn't like seeing some friends learn hard lessons.
On the Yukon: Very pretty. Very worth looking into. Overall, though, I can't help feel it's like… Northern BC ten years ago. I'm still mad about my expensive water.
It's hard being at home. But that's another day, another story. Or two. Or eight. Hopefully I'll get to that crazy church tomorrow. And it's a zillion and one times saner than anything I've seen for the last three months. I'm so excited. ^_^.
suzza at 11:33 p.m.